Sometimes.. sometimes, in life.. sometimes something so suck ass comes along that you are left no other recourse than to laugh at it. Call it survival instincts, as it is probably just that. At least it’s that for me.

Yeah. So, after watching Russell Wilson get semi shell shocked into giving up multiple turnovers against a Buffalo Bills defense that supposedly wasn’t very good, while watching a Seattle Seahawk defense surrender an ungodly amount of yardage and points, while somehow managing SEVEN SACKS, I stopped getting angry about what I was witnessing. I know a good bed wetting whenever I see it, and that was much much worse than any bed wetting.

Folks, the Seattle Seahawks pooped themselves. They pooped themselves hard.

They didn’t have the better quarterback, they didn’t have the better defense, they didn’t have the better coaching staff, and therefore, they were not the better team. They sucked. They sucked all over the field. They sucked on offense, defense, and special teams. They sucked as a coaching staff. They sucked butt.

They pooped themselves. Sorry I am being so anal focused about it, but it was all butt.

It’s okay. We all have our moments of unbridled suck ass. It does not mean that we are suck ass. It’s just means that on occasion, we suck ass. It happens.

The Seattle Seahawks are not a bad team. They are certainly not a team that is going to now slip away from playoff contention. They still lead their division. In fact, at the mid point of this season for them, they stand on a healthy 6-2 record. They are on pace to win about twelve games, if all goes well during a second half of their season where the schedule gets much softer.

And further more, guess who also sucked butt on Sunday? The almighty Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who got smoked by the Saints much worse that Seattle did by the Bills, and frankly, the Bills are likely a much better team than the Saints. They pooped themselves much, much worse, and Tom Brady played much, much worse than Russell Wilson did. It happens.

This is football, and this is life. It’s not a matter of whether or not you poop yourself, it’s a matter of what you do afterwards as a result. Fortunately for Seahawk fans, Russell Wilson usually responds to a bad outing with a much better outing the following week. His record after a loss is astoundingly good.

Trust that the Seahawks’ season is not lost after this outing. While their defense will likely not be a great one this season, trust that it can get better, because, frankly, I don’t think it can get much worse than it was in this game.

Will this defense be good enough for Seattle to properly win a championship? I dunno, but I will say that this is 2020, and this has been a weird ass year. So, maybe it will.

Here are my notes about the game.

The Good

For as bad as the defense was, and they were horrid, they still managed to generate seven sacks. Jarran Reed had a strong game pass rushing at defensive tackle (tallied 2.5 sacks for himself) and kinda showed what he is capable of when he has a legit edge rusher to work with now that Carlos Dunlap is here. Dunlap also had a really strong game rushing as the new starting leo end. KJ Wright, Jamal Adams, and Bobby Wagner also provided heat.

DK Metcalf continued his hot streak as an emerging dominant wide out in this league. He was the best player on offense in this one.

Russell Wilson did a good job getting the tight ends involved, and Jacob Hollister especially had a good game. I’m kinda glad Seattle didn’t trade him off now.

Rookie DeeJay Dallas provided a nice impact running the ball, and frankly, he wasn’t used nearly enough, in my opinion. This was bittersweet for me.

Pete Carroll signed a contract extension that will keep him as the Seahawk coach through 2025, and I think that was the best thing of the day, by far.

The Arizona Cardinals lost to the red hot Dolphins and therefore, Seattle hangs onto the division lead, which makes this loss more palatable.

The Bad

There was so much bad in this game that I don’t even want to list it all. Russ wasn’t sharp as he needed to be, and the defense was horrid will be the talk all week on Seattle sports radio, but for my money, the coaching staff pooped themselves the most in this one, especially on the defensive side.

Carroll oddly admitted, post game, that his staff under prepared the defense to handle the Bills’ passing attack. He volunteered that they had a “wonderful game plan” to defend the Bills’ run game, but didn’t have answers for their passing attack, and didn’t do a good enough job adjusting.

Wow. Look, I’m happy as pie that the Seattle Seahawks extended Pete Carroll through 2025. He’s a hall of fame head coach who is the best culture builder in the league, and I firmly believe that the Seahawks’ success over the last decade is as much due to him as it is to its quarterback, but.. wow. That’s quite the admission.

The entire strength of the Bills’ offensive attack is its quarterback and receivers. Their running attack is compliment to their passing attack, just as Seattle’s run game is now a compliment to their passing game.

Think of it this way. If you are going to defend Seattle’s offensive, you are going to look to limit Russell Wilson, not Chris Carson or DeeJay Dallas. You would have thought Seattle would have used that approach to the Bill offense and Josh Allen.

It’s entirely possible that Carroll might have embellished a bit on this one, protecting his struggling defenders by essentially saying that the coaches didn’t do enough to put them in position to play well. It was obvious that cornerback Quinton Dunbar was physically struggling to play on his gimpy knee, and Stefon Diggs was taking full advantage of that. It was also obvious that star safety Jamal Adams was playing rusty in coverage coming back from his groin injury that kept him out for over a month. I think it is safe to say that Seattle could have used Shaquill Griffin back at left corner in this game, and the Bills took advantage of that.

But still, if there is an inkling of truth to Carroll’s words about being under-prepared to face Josh Allen as a passer, that’s inexcusable. It’s going to a very interesting Tell The Truth Monday between the coaching staff and players.

Seattle’s coaching staff needs to figure out this defense and fix. There is too much talent on that side of the ball for it to be playing this badly. Jamal Adams, Bobby Wagner, Quandre Diggs, Shaquill Griffin, and Dunbar have all been under performing throughout most of the season. Those guys are supposed to be the strength of this defense. Steadier play by KJ Wright, and possibly Jarran Reed now, isn’t enough.

It’s time to fix the defense, and that means in-season coaching adjustments, they need to do it. It’s time.

The Ugly

There was so much ugly in this game, I don’t even know where to begin.

It was all ugly! Poopy ugly.

There, I said it.

Seattle’s defenders looked lethargic and slow to react in coverage from the start of the game, and they didn’t get much better as the game wore on, even when the pass rush started dialing up sacks.

Russell Wilson threw two stupid interceptions, showing a lack of patience as a passer, trying to force plays that weren’t there. Seattle needed it’s best player to play well, and he didn’t do that enough. No cooking for Russ!

Seattle’s kick off coverage gave up a huge return to start the game.

Seattle’s defensive coaching staff pooped themselves.

Ya da da, ya da da.

It was one of those games.

Moving Forward

Despite how badly the Seahawks played, it’s not time to panic. Panicking is for losers and we are not them.

Seattle needs to sort out the defense better now that Jamal Adams is back, and it that, I think that using him in ways that are less predictable is going to help. Right now, it appears his biggest impact is as a blitzer. They need to vary him up there and get him factoring into coverage better.

I think it is also time to finally call up Snacks Harrison from the practice squad and allow him to be a factor at defensive tackle, keeping Jarran Reed fresher to pass rush, and more importantly, helping to keep Bobby Wagner cleaner to make plays at linebacker.

Finally, after a game like this, it’s easy to look at the next two games coming up against the Rams and Cardinals, and wince. I’m not going to do that, however. Nope. Not me.

The Bills are a really good team, and they played like a really good team against a Seattle team that was thin at corner, and was thin at running back. Still, Seattle had opportunities in this game to make it much more competitive. Had Russell not thrown two interceptions, the complexion of this game could have been different. Seattle still might have lost, but maybe they would have done enough to sneak out a win against a very good team on the road.

As much as the Rams have given the Seahawks a hard time over recent years, I’m not convinced that they are a better team than Seattle is in 2020. They have had their share of issues on offense and they have been a bit up and down defensively. I think it is entirely possible that Seattle can go down to Los Angeles next Sunday, and pull out a win. If they do that, this game against the Bills will be largely forgotten.

The thing I still really like about Seattle is the ability that their quarterback has to respond to a bad outing, and that is a huge advantage in this league. That should not be lost on Seahawk fans right now.

So, yeah. I like Seattle’s chances next week. I think they can get that win. In fact, I think they will.

Sometimes, you need to poop yourself to make these sort of things happen.

Go Hawks.