Dear Seattle Seahawk Fan,

Time to buckle up for a season full of Geno Smith as your starting quarterback, two rookies at offensive tackle, probably a couple rookie corners, as well, and Jason Meyers being depended on to kick a lot of field goals. In short, this could be a test of wills to see how devoted you are on most Sundays.

For me, I’ve said it many times before, and I don’t mind sounding like a broken record again. I’m a diehard. I will be glued to every game, good or bad, and let’s be honest; there could be way more bad this year.

I have accepted the new direction of this team. The roster is being rebuilt with younger talent, and I’m glad. Bring it on!

I also know that this is going to be a process. I’m excited to see how it shakes out, and I suspect that the real test for this franchise will come in 2023, when it’s expected that the next franchise quarterback will be on their roster, one way, or another.

As it always is during this time of the year, I have gathered my expert panel to go over the team, share thoughts, and then offer predictions. This expert panel includes my orange tabby cat, Earl, and my long haired black cat, Kam.

Bookmark this article, and refer to it whenever you need to in good times, or bad. Go Hawks.

Coaching Staff

Curtis: I’m a Pete Carroll guy. I think the dude can still coach and those last couple games of the season, I sensed what felt like a positive turn.. that if they can just get more comfortable with Shane Waldron’s offense, this thing can hum, and if they can change things up on defense and get younger, they can get more hungrier again. I’m excited for Carroll to show the world he can still coach his ass off, I’m a believer in the Waldron offense, and I’m hopeful about what Clint Hurtt will do with the defense. Generally, I’m with this this group.

Earl: Is Pete going to stay out of the way of his offensive coordinator? That’s the big question for me. We know he’s going with Geno because he wants to play it “safe.” That give me a hairball just thinking about it, and I don’t know what the flip to make of this defensive shift to the 3-4. During the preseason, I didn’t see much that got me excited. Clint Hurtt is gigantic, though. I don’t know why, but that matters to me. I like big.

Kam: I’m ready for Hurtt to put the hurt on Kyler Murray, if you know what I mean. (Pause) What? Nobody knows what I mean? (Pause) Hurt on Kyler Murray by Hurtt’s defensive play calling? (Pause) You both really need to lighten up.

Quarterback

Earl: Jesus H Crispy Crunch on a Cobb Salad, you really want to talk about this???? Geno’s going to start, then they are going to go to Drew Lock, and then probably back to Geno, and it will be a bloody miracle if they ever score more than 20 points in a game this year, and I’m being generous with all that. I don’t know why they didn’t go after Baker Mayfield.

Curtis: I’m rooting for Geno to play well. I’m not worried about what that would do for draft positioning next year. I want Geno to play well, and for this team to gel around him. If he struggles, and they go with Drew, I will root the same way for Drew Lock. It would be fun if one of these guys exceeded expectations. If it doesn’t happen, no sweat. Next year is when they will make a real play for a quarterback, one way or another.

Kam: I like Drew Lock. He’s big, he’s young, moves well, has a nice arm, and quick release, and looks like an NFL quarterback. I also think that a potato is a vegetable, so what do I really know? Quarterbacks are a dime a dozen. Running back is where it’s at.

Running Back

Kam: I like Rashaad Penny. He seems like a nice guy, and I’m liking this Ken Walker guy, too, but give me Travis Homer. I think Travis Homer is going to shock the world, and get MVP votes this year. (Pause) What? Does my breath smell like my corn-hole, again?

Earl: Penny always gets hurt, Walker couldn’t make it through a training camp where everyone plays paddy-cakes and sings campfire songs these days because of the new NFLPA safety guidelines, and for some reason, they don’t use DeeJay Dallas enough. So, yeah, I guess you’re right. Travis F**king Homer might get an MVP vote this year because he has to run the ball thirty times a game so Drew Lock or Geno Smith won’t throw multiple interceptions. Let me spell this out to you all; THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS DON’T HAVE A QUARTERBACK ON THEIR ROSTER RIGHT NOW.

Curtis: Watch out for Ken Walker. It’s going to start out the Penny Show, but something tells me that by the end of the season, Seahawk Nation is going to be bonkers about Ken Walker. I’m excited about this guy.

Tight End

Earl: Is anyone other than me outraged that they’re paying Will F’ing Dissly $8 million dollars a year? This is like me paying $8 thousand dollars for a twenty year old Ford Ranger on Facebook. Friends don’t let friends do these sort of things.

Curtis: Dissly is a “culture guy” who is a reliable blocker and a good pass catcher. The finer details of that contract are more team friendly than you are suggesting, but you’re a cat, and you can’t read those fine prints. I keep telling you to stop listening to sports radio and angry podcast types, but you never listen.

Kam: You two need to really stop arguing about Uncle Will. We got Noah F’ing Fant from the Broncos and this dude is going to be a star. Also, I think we are going to see a lot of double tight end sets this year. Ideally, this formation confuses defenses more as to whether plays will be run or pass. You need two good tight ends to run this. I think Seattle has two good tight ends now. Dissly is a solid in-line blocker and receiver, and Fant can more comfortably play the flexed out “Joker” position. (Pause) What? I was Mark Bavaro’s cat in a past life. I know a good tight end whenever I see one.

Wide Receiver

Curtis: DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett are two of the best receivers in the league. This is why I think Geno might be alright this year. He’s going to have targets many other quarterbacks don’t have. Marquise Goodwin offers solid depth, and I’m excited to see what Dee Eskridge finally does.

Kam: I wish I was Tyler Lockett’s cat. He seems really nice, and he makes more money than you do.(Pause) Sorry, we’re six years in this relationship now, and I’m looking to mix things up.

Earl: If we loose Tyler Lockett or DK Metcalf to injury this year, we are absolutely, positively, doomed, and maybe we should be. I can’t believe the level of hubris Pete Carroll has exhibited by not going after Baker Mayfield, and forcing Geno Smith and Drew Lock upon our souls. I like the potential of rookie Dareke Young, though. He’s my dark horse.

Offensive Line

Curtis: I think this is going to be an area of strength. I think John Schneider stole candy from a baby by taking right tackle Abe Lucas in round three this Spring, and Charles Cross looks like a legit NFL left tackle for years to come. I like the addition of Austin Blythe at center. I think we will be fine at guard, and I like the depth pieces. This is a promising group.

Earl: Abe Lucas at right tackle gives me wood, and I’m neutered. (Pause) What? I can’t say neutered on the internet?

Kam: This new look O-line is completely the influence of Shane Waldron and offensive line coach Andy Dickerson. Both guys have come over from the Rams, and the change over at tackle is duly noted. The Rams prefer longer more athletic tackles to reach the edges on the outside stretch plays that they run. Both of these young cats are that. Blythe is from that offense, as well. If they hit it right in next year’s draft, they can have a top five offensive line moving forward. Yeah, I also know something about offensive lines.

Defensive Line

Earl: I love the potential of Myles Adams at defensive tackle. That dude was a wrecking ball all preseason. My fear is that Carroll is going to favor older players, and this cat isn’t going to see enough action. He should see action week one against Denver and You Know Who.

Kam: I love Poona Ford. Poona, Poona, Poona. I also like Al Woods. Woods, Woods, Woods. The rest of these guys, I don’t know that much about. Hopefully, they are all really good.

Curtis: Myles Adams looked too good during the preseason to not get into games. I’m hopeful Seattle has something with him as a good interior pass rusher. I think Seattle has a stable of quality rotational guys but no true game wrecker. That worries me.

Edge Rusher

Curtis: Darrell Taylor has a chance to blossom into a star this year. Rookie second round pick Boye Mafe also has a chance to be special. Uchenna Nwosu has serious juice off of the edge. Then there’s always Alton Robinson, who I think is underrated. The is a group full of potential but that potential needs to materialize this year, if this defense is going to make a positive turn.

Earl: Darrell Taylor needs to beast out on Russell Wilson on MNF for me to believe in this unit right now. If he gets to Russ a few times and messes with his head, I’m sold. My God, though, if Taylor goes down with any serious injury, this whole defense is screwed.

Kam: Boye Mafe is going to lead the team with 11 sacks this year. I don’t know how I know this, but I do. I’m also pretty sure that ancient aliens built the pyramids and that thing in Chile. I mean, let’s not over think any of this. Boye Mafe is going to be the sack leader in year one, and ancient aliens crossbred with Neanderthals to create a slave race to which you are a descendant of. I mean, look at your forehead, for goodness sake. This all scans.

Inside Linebacker

Earl: I am terrified about the depth behind Jordyn Brooks, and I’m not sold that Cody Barton is going to be decent next to him. This is where Pete F’ing Carroll drives me nuts, again. When they were running the 4-3, they weirdly stopped carrying depth at defensive tackle. Now that they are running a 3-4, they are only carrying three inside backers and one of them also serves at the fullback. WTF?

Kam: I like Cody Barton. He seems nice, and he’s a hard worker. I like hard workers. Give me a team of 53 hard workers, and I bet I can coach them to the Super Bowl. Not that the other guys aren’t hard workers, but I think Cody Barton is a hard worker. (Pause) I honestly don’t know what I’m talking about, here, and I also think you having us on your panel is a very cheap gimmick for the thirty some odd readers who follow you on a semi regular basis.

Curtis: Well, I think you’re going a great job, and I agree that Cody Barton seems like a hard worker. I think the plan is to try Jordyn Brooks and Barton together on run downs, and when they get into nickel situations, Jamal Adams will be in a linebacker role while Barton comes off the field. This has more to do with how to get the most out of Adams as a blitzing threat. That said, they need more depth pieces here. This area has me nervous, honestly.

Cornerback

Kam: I like the rookies Coby Bryant, and Tariq Woolen, and I really like that fact that Seattle has Michael Jackson on the team again. In case you don’t know, Michael Jackson was a very population middle linebacker for the Seahawks in the 1980’s when they last played in a 3-4, but apparently, he’s lost a bunch of weight, and at age seventy, he’s moved to outside corner, remarkably. (Pause) Also, he shares the name of someone who was a popular pop star from that time.. which maybe is why he was so popular back then. I think it’s a cool story.

Curtis: Tariq Woolen is the guy who could seriously shock the league this year. So much buzz about that guy. He’s almost as big as DK, yet faster, and he is being mentored a bit by none other than Richard Sherman. For my money though, I think Coby Bryant is going to also be special. I’m high about these rookies, and I really like Sidney Jones, Artie Burns, and Michael Jackson, as well. This unit could end of being a strength of the team.

Earl: Tariq Woolen makes me tingly in my whiskers and makes me want you to rub my belly and I f***ing hate it when you rub my motherf**king belly.

Safety

Earl: Quandre Diggs is a stud, but Jamal Adams needs a big bounce back year. Hopefully Clint Hurtt and company can find enough creative ways to use Adams. Figure out Adams, and this is the strength of the team.

Kam: I think Adams should just run around and be crazy. You know, freak everyone out! Every good team needs a loose cannon.. a maverick, if you will. If I were Adams, I’d go run up and line up next to the nose tackle. I mean, what the f**k?! You know, be wild and unpredictable. Look what that did for Ozzy Osbourne. Sometimes you have to just bite a motherf**king bat.

Curtis: No doubt the key to the defense rests with Adams. I think Josh Jones is going to be a dark horse player for this team. We know Quandre is good, but when Adams is playing like a linebacker (which could be a lot), who’s that third safety? Watch for Jones to be the man.

Special Teams:

Curtis: Michael Dickson is a football god.

Kam: Michael Dickson is a super football god.

Earl: Would you two just shut up about the punter. He’s a punter. (Pause) I think they need a better kicker. I don’t care about deep snappers.

Predictions:

Curtis: This will be a very 2011 Tarvaris Jackson-like year. They will beat some teams that they aren’t supposed to beat, and will lose some games that maybe they should have won. There will be the sense of a good offensive line forming, and an explosive run game, and I think there will be an improved defense with more younger players emerging. I think that they finish 8-9, but ironically, so will Russell Wilson with the Broncos. So, there’s that.

Earl: Geno is going to be a disaster, and so will Drew Lock. Weirdly, I think Sam Darnold is going to end up quarterbacking this team in December. I think they finish 5-12. They will have a top five pick to take a franchise quarterback. I like the Anthony Richardson kid from Florida. Who knows what they are thinking, though. I thought they were going to go get Baker Mayfield, and they chose Geno.

Kam: The Seattle Seahawks are going to the playoffs this year. I just have that feeling. Book it. Geno Smith is going to start out solid and get us going with some sweet unexpected wins, but Travis Homer carries the team on his back to the mother-fudging playoffs. That’s right, we finish 10-7, and we beat the Cowboys on the road because, well, they’re the Cowboys, and you heard it here first, right out my meower. Bank on it.

Curtis: Go Hawks.

EarL: Let’s ride.

Kam: Thank you, Sue Bird for an amazing 20 year career in Seattle. An entire generation of sports fans here have grown up watching you lead the Storm, and you are a model for not just young women athletes, but all athletes, in general. I think you are an amazing basketball player, but an even more amazing human being. Go Storm.