Dear Seattle Seahawks,

You are what your now 3-8 record says you are. You are a bad football team.

I don’t even recognize you, and I literally do not understand how you are trying to win any ball games.

You are as far removed from being a Pete Carroll coached team as I have ever seen Pete Carroll coach. You can’t run the ball. Your defense doesn’t intimidate. The one player who has carried you in recent years off play action plays is an injured, and out of sorts shadow of himself.

You are asking this injured sub six foot tall quarterback to be a pocket passer with no threat of a run game, and you aren’t trying anything creative to manufacture runs out of spread out formations, or up tempo, or motion sweeps, or any else that might give the ground game any chance against a good defensive front.

My goodness, what in the world is wrong with you?

You are not giving any defenses any wrinkles to be concerned with, and they are hammering your backs and this riddled quarterback. I just don’t understand your thinking.

Also, speaking of your quarterback, it’s hard to watch him being such an indecisive mess. Clearly, he’s not comfortable in your offense, and possibly he’s concerned with his throwing hand in the thick of a rush. Having him try to beat defenses with the quick pass in a collapsing pocket with a sea of rushers heading towards him is a tough watch.

So, why not adjust it to what he is comfortable doing right now?

He seems to like and function much better in hurry up mode, and he looked better in this game throwing outside the pocket than in it in this one. Isn’t it logical that this is should be what this offense should be doing right now?

After all, it is said that good coaching is all about putting players in a position to succeed instead of fail.

Russ is clearly failing to function as a quick game pocket passer. Alex Collins is failing to be the hammering bell cow running back that you are asking him to be. The biggest issue, in my mind, is that you are asking these guys to do the wrong things, and it is killing your team.

Let me be clear with you on this right now. You are a poorly coached team right now. You can’t hide from that fact.

How bad you ask?

If I have to watch nose tackles Brian Mone and Al Woods drop into zone coverage instead of trying to disrupt the pocket, I am going to scream loud noises that will make my next door neighbors call 911.

What, in all things stupid, are you thinking when you are imagining will happen by asking 350 pound men be coverage linebackers?

Your hubris is hard to watch. This has been an issue all season but you insist on still doing this stuff.

Does Ken Norton Junior have pictures of you or your spouse with a farm animal or something?

You should have beaten this Washington Football Team. You had opportunities. They gave you multiple opportunities, but you couldn’t stop crapping yourself with bad play calling, bad execution, and just generally incredibly bad officiating calls from the refs.

Clearly, these refs wanted you to lose because, well, you stink.

Watching you hang in this game against this team from the other Washington was like watching someone being slowly munched to death by a gigantic crocodile. Just when you think this person will maybe get away, the big dumb animal munches half their head off, and then drags their flailing body into the murky deep.

It’s a gross encounter for any viewer.

I’m going to tell you straight up, you are going to absolutely get your ass kicked by the San Francisco 49ers next week, if you do not clean this crap up. They are salivating for it right now.

Of course there were nice efforts like Rasheem Green returning a blocked extra point for a safety score (addmittedly, that was fun), and Russell Wilson hitting Tyler Lockett on some sweet ass deep balls (always pretty to watch), but my goodness, what a waste of good efforts and plays.

How god awful are you?

You are so incompetent that you cannot devise ways of getting your young superstar receiver the stinking ball until late in the final minutes of the fourth quarter. That’s stinking awful bad.

Stop stinking. Win a few games in a row to make us think there is one single reason why you shouldn’t simply blow up this entire organization from top to bottom. Right now, I see very little reason why this shouldn’t happen as soon as the final whistle blows in the last game of this wasted season.

You are too old in too many spots, and not talented enough in others. That’s a bad combo to have going on with your roster, and I get it, but it is no excuse for bad coaching.

This is the roster you put to together. So, coach the bloody stinking awful thing up.

Stop stinking!

Peace and love, as always.

Go Hawks!