The San Francisco 49ers Lose To The Lowly Seattle Seahawks, 30-23, And I’m Sorry

I feel for these souls

Dear San Francisco 49er Fan,

I’m sorry that you spent hundreds of dollars on airfare, hotel accommodations, and tickets to watch your team play my Seahawks in Seattle on a crisp cold day in December. I’m sure you thought this was going to be the season your team was finally going to stick it to the struggling Seahawks at home with a good ol’ fashioned beat down in front of all those blue and green screaming Twelves that always get under your skin.

Judging by the amount of red jerseys I saw in the stands, you came together in the masses. Much respect to all these Faithful fans making the trek with you.

I don’t blame y’all for making the trip up here to the Emerald City, either. My Seatttle Seahawks have sucked wet butt this year. It’s a statement of fact.

They got no offensive line, no running backs, they got very little pass rush mixed with leaky coverage, and they have had to deal with their banged up star quarterback coming back from major injury while trying to understand this new offense, and he’s been an abject mess.

If your shoes were on my feet, I would have dropped two grand to travel up and see this match live and in person, as well.

In fact, I predicted a blow out in favor of your beloved 49ers. I felt, for certain, that was going to happen, and I wanted to prepare my readers for it. I felt duty bound.

And, by golly, for the first quarter and a half, it looked like your team was going to pull off this royal ass whooping. I’ve seen a lot of bad football in my time, I cannot remember ever seeing a 2nd and 42 play happen. Yikes.

But then your quarterback realized that he isn’t nearly as good as my quarterback, and he threw some stupid interceptions because Seattle’s suspect defense always seems to get inside his head.

And, of course, then my quarterback, Russell Carrington Wilson, decided that he might as well return to the pro bowl standard as he has been for years, and he found ways to play efficiently (with a few stellar throws mixed around) where good old Jimmy G couldn’t see to do that nearly enough.

What’s really weird to me about the whole Russ playing pretty darn good is that he had to go against your defense, which is much better than Seattle’s. I mean, for a while, I was worried he might die on the field, especially when left tackle Duane Brown forgot how to block your third string edge rusher.

Speaking of which, I didn’t really love seeing your guys putting extra mustard on their hits on my Russ, but I was happy that the refs agreed, and threw flags that kept my team in it.

And Good Lord in Heaven, Seattle tight end Gerald Everett was practically handing you the stinking game several times, like he owed you money, or something. I felt terrible for him because he had been playing so darn well lately in losing efforts, I’ve been thinking that maybe he’s been Seattle’s best player on offense, but I almost feel worse for you. He gave you gift after gift with his bad ball handling, and your team couldn’t seize the moments enough.

Gosh, it must really suck knowing that this banged up and tattered 4-8 Seahawk team basically had their way with your playoff hopeful team yet again. I mean, this final score could have been 40-23 if not for Everett’s off game at the goal line.

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure you’re making the playoffs now. That must agitate.

And goodness gracious me, speaking of agitation, having now lost 16 of the last 20 games to Seattle since Russell Wilson came into the league must really be annoying (17 of 21 if we include the NFC Championship game, sorry to bring that one up). I mean, I would completely hate that, if I were you, and now that I think about it, Seattle owning the all time record between these two clubs 30-17 must be kind of annoying, as well.

But I hope you had fun in Seattle. It’s beautiful up here! I hope you enjoyed Pike Place Market, ate some salmon, and bought some nice Native art. I hope the garlic fries in the stands didn’t give you too much gas after witnessing yet another demoralizing loss to my Seahawks.

Like I say, I really thought your team was going to big time beat up on mine. They seemed poised for it, even without Deebo and Fred Warner. I mean, my team’s offensive line couldn’t block an obnoxious tweeter on the Twitter. How in the world was I to expect then to block Nick Bosa and Arik Armstead?

Off topic for a second. Is Kyle Shanahan a good coach?

I think he is, but whenever I watch Seahawk vs 49er games, I can never truly tell. He seems to have a genuine problem beating Pete Carroll who continues to throw away time outs like they were chicken feed on a farm.

Well, it all is what it is. My team owns yours.

It’s not the end of the world, though. There are worse things, like mayonnaise, and TikTok dancing, and not getting herd control over a virus during a pandemic.

Just know, every year of your life, my team is likely to sweep yours, and make peace with it. Trust me, it’s the healthiest path moving forward.

I should know. I have made peace with the fact that my Seahawks can never seem to beat those rotten stinking gawd awful LA Rams whenever it fudging matters. It’s not an easy pill to swallow, but we can do this together.

Peace and love,


PS; you have to admit it, though, that fake punt that Travis Homer housed seventy five yards for a touchdown was a pretty sweet trick play to throw at you in the first possession of the game. What a gutsy play call! It makes me think that Seattle’s offense purposefully sucked in that opening series just to set up that play!

Maybe Pete Carroll hasn’t lost it as a coach as some seem overly eager to suggest these days. Hmmmmmm.. interesting.

Go Hawks!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s